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| Christopher Cabrera 6'4 Weight Before Surgery 454 Weight after the surgery is 264. I have always been overweight, and it has never been easy to live with. I've experienced many of the same horror stories reported by other size challenged people. I was once at a party, and sat on an old bench, it broke and I fell to the floor. I didn't want to look up, because I could already hear everyone standing around laughing at what had just happened. Girls always said, "You're so good looking", but I inevitably just ended up being the "best" friend. By the time I was 30 I had lost my mother, father and a brother. Even though I had a lot of friends, I felt alone, and I turned to food to fill the void left by the deaths of my family members. After years of stuffing down my pain by constantly eating, I ballooned up to 500 pounds. During my last relationship I gained so much weight that I couldn't fit into any restaurant booths. I always felt like a freak. People used to walk up to me and tell me I was the biggest person they had ever seen. All I could do was sit and cry. My life became simply about going to work, coming home and hiding in my room eating as much as I could until I fell asleep. A year ago this month at 6'4" and 454 lbs., on the verge of Diabetes, Heart Problems, and feeling too sore to walk up stairs, I decided to have Gastric Bypass Surgery. It was a risk, but I felt that I would rather die on the table than in my bed. Since then I have lost over 200 pounds and most of my insecurities have melted away with them. I find that I am more excited now, to try new things - things that I would never have tried before. I used to be restricted by my size and had to shop at the same store for over10 years. Now I have lots of choices, and I can shop anywhere I want. I went from size 6x shirts/56 pants to 1x shirts/38 pants. I have always been very self conscious of my stomach and the way I look and how I feel in clothes. These feelings were present before and now after my weight loss. I have always wanted to have a healthy flat stomach and a body that I feel proud of. I have scheduled a tummy tuck for August 23, 2003 and am looking forward to shedding the last physical signs of my years of self-abuse. I'm hoping that for the first time ever I will feel comfortable taking my shirt off at the beach. I haven't exposed my belly in public since I was very young, and I have always dreamed of the day that I could again. I have never taken my shirt off at a pool party and would always fake an earache, as an excuse to sit out, and keep my shirt on. It was hard listening to all the other kids laughing and having fun. I wished that I could also feel comfortable with my body, and join them - and I look forward to being able to do that. This transformational process goes beyond the physical and also includes emotional aspects that are very challenging for me. My old methods of dealing with stressful situations are no longer an option and I've had to find other ways of handling the difficult moments that are part of life. My comfort food has changed from large quantities of fast food items to one or two chocolate rice cakes. I also spend time exercising, which allows me to work out my feelings of frustration in a healthy way that reinforces my new behaviors and also has the added benefit of releasing serotonin which helps with depression. It's a win-win situation. Along with my new found confidence, women have suddenly become interested in more than being just friends. In addition, some of my coworkers and friends have found inspiration through my experience. It's amazing to go from feeling like a freak to becoming an inspiration. One friend is having the same surgery soon and two others are beginning the process as well. It feels fabulous to change a life, especially my own. When I was over 400 pounds, I had no interest in a future for myself, no plans for marriage or a family of my own. Since I have transformed my life, and myself another wonderful side effect, is a new interest in marriage and children. I now look forward to a long healthy happy and fruitful life. You can find more information about my day to day struggles on by clicking here. |
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